When you wake up, do you have a purpose for living? At night, do you look back at your day and feel good about what you've accomplished? For some, these questions are easy to answer; other people have no idea. If you don't know how to answer these questions, please listen to me. Do not panic. Panicking leads to unnecessary stress and takes a person back to square one. I know it's easier said than done. The panic normally comes from not knowing your true motivation or purpose in life. If you are in this situation, then I am here to let you know that everything will be okay. I didn't understand why I do the things I do for a long time.
I used to be the person who had no idea why I was put on Earth. On a daily basis, I went through the motion of existing, but had no idea what motivated me to live. Recently, it hit me. I don't know how or why, but it just happened. I've realized that my purpose in life is to give to other people. I know, giving is such a generic term. How could I be fulfilled by the concept of giving? It's simple: making other people happy and fulfilled makes me happy.
Looking back at my life, I've had a knack for helping people. As an undergraduate student, I gave over 700 hours of my time to a service learning program; I only account for logged hours. In graduate school, I taught the public speaking course and was a Teaching Assistant for Intercultural Communication. For 5 summers, I volunteered at a summer program designed to help youth understand American government and what it means to be an engaged citizen. After school, I brought my expertise to Toastmasters International. For me, I like to give by helping other people through mentoring, teaching, coaching, and counseling.
When I wake up each day, I know that my purpose is to help other people. It makes me feel good to know that I made someone's day better. At night, I feel good about my accomplishments. Through the years, I have received recognition for my accomplishments, but that's not important. What's important is that I am selfless when I give to other people. If you cannot think of your life purpose, think about what motivates you to succeed, your family, or anything/anyone who inspires you to be a better person. Deep inside, each person has a source of inspiration. It's time to unlock your purpose.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Challenge your Attitude
Who is your worst and harshest critic? I've asked this question to many people. Most of the time, people will say they are their own worst critic. They will pick themselves apart to the point where they degrade who they are at the core. These people wouldn't think to do this to other people because it's not nice. If it's not nice to degrade other people, then why is it okay to degrade you?
I will admit that I have degraded myself in the past. There have been times when I am my own worst enemy. For example, there are days when I wonder if I am capable of doing more than ringing at a register and cleaning restrooms at the end of each work shift. In my heart, I know I can do so much more. All I have to do is look at my track record; that speaks for itself. Even then, I overlook what I can do and focus on what I cannot do.
Getting rid of the voices in my head has been a battle. For so long, I have been consumed with others' perceptions of me. I identified my own identity based on how others viewed me. A couple months ago, I was inspired by a presentation that focused on overcoming the voices in your head. In this presentation, Ed Tate, 2000 World Champion of Public Speaking, says that the best way to overcome the voices is to shift mindset. Instead of looking at your negative qualities, look at the positive qualities.
This message hit a home run in my heart. It made me realize that I have beaten myself up so much that I didn't know how to look at myself in a positive way. If you're like me, then you may be wondering how you can overcome the negative voices in your head. I cannot speak for every person, but I will tell you how I am overcoming them. 1) I am getting rid of negative people who bring me down. It is not easy, but it releases the toxic energy. 2) I am trusting in people who have my best interest at heart. These people have brought me up when I try to bring myself down. They will not let me beat myself up internally. 3) I am putting myself through the self-discovery process. As strange as it sounds, taking various personality assessments and looking at my natural, innate strengths has helped to put myself into perspective.
For so long, negative self-talk has prevented me from achieving my goals. Now, I am proactive in changing this. I hope my story inspires you to take control of your life and you become kind to you.
I will admit that I have degraded myself in the past. There have been times when I am my own worst enemy. For example, there are days when I wonder if I am capable of doing more than ringing at a register and cleaning restrooms at the end of each work shift. In my heart, I know I can do so much more. All I have to do is look at my track record; that speaks for itself. Even then, I overlook what I can do and focus on what I cannot do.
Getting rid of the voices in my head has been a battle. For so long, I have been consumed with others' perceptions of me. I identified my own identity based on how others viewed me. A couple months ago, I was inspired by a presentation that focused on overcoming the voices in your head. In this presentation, Ed Tate, 2000 World Champion of Public Speaking, says that the best way to overcome the voices is to shift mindset. Instead of looking at your negative qualities, look at the positive qualities.
This message hit a home run in my heart. It made me realize that I have beaten myself up so much that I didn't know how to look at myself in a positive way. If you're like me, then you may be wondering how you can overcome the negative voices in your head. I cannot speak for every person, but I will tell you how I am overcoming them. 1) I am getting rid of negative people who bring me down. It is not easy, but it releases the toxic energy. 2) I am trusting in people who have my best interest at heart. These people have brought me up when I try to bring myself down. They will not let me beat myself up internally. 3) I am putting myself through the self-discovery process. As strange as it sounds, taking various personality assessments and looking at my natural, innate strengths has helped to put myself into perspective.
For so long, negative self-talk has prevented me from achieving my goals. Now, I am proactive in changing this. I hope my story inspires you to take control of your life and you become kind to you.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Trash the Toxic
Do you know of someone who drains your energy? Does this person cause you unnecessary drama? When you are finished hanging out with this person, do you feel drained and worn out? If you are, then you know how exhausting it can be to have this type of person in your life; this is the description I would use to describe a toxic person.
You may be wondering why toxic people enter into your life. Sometimes, you wonder how life would be better if the toxic person would just go away. Sometimes, the toxic person cannot go away. For example, you may work with toxic coworker. This person brings everyone in the office down. It could be the family member that no one wants to be around, but no one will say anything for fear of causing World War III. In these types of situations, it is best to distance yourself as much as possible. Remind yourself of why you are wonderful and focus on what you can control.
What about your friends? You can control who you choose to be friends with each day. As you get older, you realize that you and your friends have different priorities and agendas. What happens if your friend becomes a toxic person? Do you keep the friend in your life simply because of past history? Should you get rid of the friend? I cannot answer this question for you because it is you life.
To help you make the best decision for you, ask yourself these kinds of questions: Does your friend cause or attract more drama than you can handle? When you need help, will your friend be there for you? If your friend has a significant other, does your friend regard your feelings about appropriate levels of PDA? At the end of the day, does your friend rejuvenate you or do you feel frustrated? Above all, what does your gut instinct tell you?
If you decide that it is time to get rid of the toxic friend (or other toxic person), end the relationship sooner rather than later. The longer you wait, the harder it will be. Unfortunately, the person may be going through tough times. In this case, you should be the judge of the right cut off time. It will be difficult at first. You may go through the grieving process and wonder so many things about the former relationship. At the end of the day, do what's best for you and your health. If you get rid of the toxic people now, you will feel refreshed and happier in the end.
You may be wondering why toxic people enter into your life. Sometimes, you wonder how life would be better if the toxic person would just go away. Sometimes, the toxic person cannot go away. For example, you may work with toxic coworker. This person brings everyone in the office down. It could be the family member that no one wants to be around, but no one will say anything for fear of causing World War III. In these types of situations, it is best to distance yourself as much as possible. Remind yourself of why you are wonderful and focus on what you can control.
What about your friends? You can control who you choose to be friends with each day. As you get older, you realize that you and your friends have different priorities and agendas. What happens if your friend becomes a toxic person? Do you keep the friend in your life simply because of past history? Should you get rid of the friend? I cannot answer this question for you because it is you life.
To help you make the best decision for you, ask yourself these kinds of questions: Does your friend cause or attract more drama than you can handle? When you need help, will your friend be there for you? If your friend has a significant other, does your friend regard your feelings about appropriate levels of PDA? At the end of the day, does your friend rejuvenate you or do you feel frustrated? Above all, what does your gut instinct tell you?
If you decide that it is time to get rid of the toxic friend (or other toxic person), end the relationship sooner rather than later. The longer you wait, the harder it will be. Unfortunately, the person may be going through tough times. In this case, you should be the judge of the right cut off time. It will be difficult at first. You may go through the grieving process and wonder so many things about the former relationship. At the end of the day, do what's best for you and your health. If you get rid of the toxic people now, you will feel refreshed and happier in the end.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Walk a Mile in My Shoes
How many times have you heard someone say that s/he doesn't want to be judged and wants to be loved for who s/he is as a person? Have you ever been judged for anything? Chances are, you have been. People are judged constantly. Some choose to be judged in pageants, speech contests, and in athletic events. In these situations, people are typically judged based on talents, skills, and abilities. When people leave the socially acceptable judgment zone, it gets tricky.
Do you like to be judged? Have you been judged because of external situations that do not define who you are as a person? Does it annoy you when people become hypocritical? Are you guilty of being hypocritical?
There are those who take what they see at face value. These people will judge the value of a person based on hair color, clothing, favorite movie, living circumstances, and education. However, in order to become better, it's time to start being speculative. Ponder and question the world around you. Sometimes, what you see is not what you get. There may be times when a situation seems sticky and the person in the situation is caught in a catch 22. However, if you took the time to get to know the person for who s/he is, would your perception change?
I am not asking you to change your opinion, attitudes, and beliefs. All I am asking you to do is challenge what you know. When you challenge what you know, you just may surprise yourself in the best way. If you need a source of motivation, remember the timeless saying, "Walk a mile in my shoes."
Do you like to be judged? Have you been judged because of external situations that do not define who you are as a person? Does it annoy you when people become hypocritical? Are you guilty of being hypocritical?
There are those who take what they see at face value. These people will judge the value of a person based on hair color, clothing, favorite movie, living circumstances, and education. However, in order to become better, it's time to start being speculative. Ponder and question the world around you. Sometimes, what you see is not what you get. There may be times when a situation seems sticky and the person in the situation is caught in a catch 22. However, if you took the time to get to know the person for who s/he is, would your perception change?
I am not asking you to change your opinion, attitudes, and beliefs. All I am asking you to do is challenge what you know. When you challenge what you know, you just may surprise yourself in the best way. If you need a source of motivation, remember the timeless saying, "Walk a mile in my shoes."
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