Merry Christmas! "Isn't Christmas over?" "I have to pay my credit card bills next month because I spent too much on gifts." "I am returning the gift from _________ because I don't like it." Do these statements sound familiar? Does the history of the statements repeat themselves each year?
Christmas is one of the last words you may want to hear right now, but it's important to mention it right now. I attended 3 different Christmas gatherings. At each gathering, I observed what I hoped to not see again: greed, envy, and jealousy. I stared through my lens as I watched people study their gifts with a meticulous eye, full of intent. I felt the prude Scrooges and Grinches in the air as I saw them sit in misery. Needless to say, it wasn't pretty.
Oftentimes, I wonder what triggers the spite and green to emerge from deep within during the holiday season. I wish I could say that this is the first time I've witnessed what I saw, but it happens every year. After all of these years, one would expect I would succumb to my environment and become a product of it. On the contrary, I have used holiday experiences to strengthen me and to guide me in a better direction.
When I attended the holiday events this past year, I could have become part of the destruction. However, I continued to remind myself that I have loved ones in my life that will support me unconditionally. No amount of money could replace the meaningful relationships in my life.
Some days, I wonder why certain people have come and gone in my life and why others remain. I know it is not my place to question this. All I know is that I am grateful for the meaningful relationships that are in my life. I don't need one day to remind me what I should be thankful for in my life; every day is Christmas to me.
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Thursday, December 19, 2013
I'll Be There
Do you remember the lyrics to the title of this blog? "Just call my name and i'll be there." I can hear Michael Jackson, from his Jackson 5 days, and Mariah Carey in my head as I type these words. What does the song mean to you?
When I think about the lyrics, I think about those in my life who have always been there for me, regardless of the situation. In fact, I can count the number of people who have been there for me on one hand. I've come across people who say they'd be there for me, but they'll pull away if the situation isn't convenient for them.
What about people who've never said they'll be there for you, but it's assumed they will because the person is a family member or beloved friend who is like family? Can you count on someone who's never given you their word? For a long time, I thought I could. However, I've noticed that this is not the case.
Certain situations and circumstances have occurred within the past couple years that have made me question loyalty and unconditional love. I won't say what the situations are. I will say that they have involved greed, envy, jealousy, disgust, and anguish. People have gone from seeing me as a person to viewing me as social capital. Others have tried to shove my dreams down the drain because the economy isn't forgiving or because they are content with mediocrity.
Regardless of the situation, I have found a couple people I can honestly say will be there for me unconditionally. These people always have my best interest at heart and would do anything to make me happy. Knowing it is rare to find these people, I cherish my relationships with them. I don't take the for granted.
If you have even one person in your life that would be there for you unconditionally, do the same for them. Give them the same compassion and love they give to you each day. Don't take the person for granted; there's no one like him or her. Before you know it, the person could be gone quicker than you can blink.
When I think about the lyrics, I think about those in my life who have always been there for me, regardless of the situation. In fact, I can count the number of people who have been there for me on one hand. I've come across people who say they'd be there for me, but they'll pull away if the situation isn't convenient for them.
What about people who've never said they'll be there for you, but it's assumed they will because the person is a family member or beloved friend who is like family? Can you count on someone who's never given you their word? For a long time, I thought I could. However, I've noticed that this is not the case.
Certain situations and circumstances have occurred within the past couple years that have made me question loyalty and unconditional love. I won't say what the situations are. I will say that they have involved greed, envy, jealousy, disgust, and anguish. People have gone from seeing me as a person to viewing me as social capital. Others have tried to shove my dreams down the drain because the economy isn't forgiving or because they are content with mediocrity.
Regardless of the situation, I have found a couple people I can honestly say will be there for me unconditionally. These people always have my best interest at heart and would do anything to make me happy. Knowing it is rare to find these people, I cherish my relationships with them. I don't take the for granted.
If you have even one person in your life that would be there for you unconditionally, do the same for them. Give them the same compassion and love they give to you each day. Don't take the person for granted; there's no one like him or her. Before you know it, the person could be gone quicker than you can blink.
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Do You Remember?
Well, do you? Do you remember the last time you you were in good company? I'm not referring to the obligated company. For example, when you hang out with a group of friends, do you tend to gravitate towards one friend? When you go to an event, is there that one person you hope to see? I am not certain as to how many people think these thoughts, but I know there is one person who does-me.
Growing up, I was surrounded by many people. People had similar interests, hobbies, and goals. However, there was always the one friend I wanted to be with above others. When I attended family events, there's always a couple family members I gravitate to each time. It's not that I don't like other people; I just connect with certain people more than others.
It's difficult to describe. When I surround myself with people who "get me" and I connect with, the stars align and everything is right with the world. I could talk to these people for hours on end and never get tired of their company. I could be away from these people for a few hours and have the world to discuss.
This is the beauty of good company. Good company prevents the awkward silences that occur, the fake conversations, and the sugarcoated comments. It allows a person to be his or her purest self. For years, I surrounded myself with people because I thought quantity equaled quality. However, it is not the case. I have learned to surround myself with people who are good company. At the end of each day, good company makes life worth living.
Growing up, I was surrounded by many people. People had similar interests, hobbies, and goals. However, there was always the one friend I wanted to be with above others. When I attended family events, there's always a couple family members I gravitate to each time. It's not that I don't like other people; I just connect with certain people more than others.
It's difficult to describe. When I surround myself with people who "get me" and I connect with, the stars align and everything is right with the world. I could talk to these people for hours on end and never get tired of their company. I could be away from these people for a few hours and have the world to discuss.
This is the beauty of good company. Good company prevents the awkward silences that occur, the fake conversations, and the sugarcoated comments. It allows a person to be his or her purest self. For years, I surrounded myself with people because I thought quantity equaled quality. However, it is not the case. I have learned to surround myself with people who are good company. At the end of each day, good company makes life worth living.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Compliments are Contagious
When did you compliment someone last? Did the person feel good? How did you feel knowing you made someone else feel good? When I receive a compliment, I feel good about myself. It reassures me that my actions are making a positive difference. Each time I give a compliment, I get a sense of pride knowing I made someone else happy.
When I discuss giving compliments, sometimes it can seem too simple. What if someone has an ulterior motive? Is the compliment genuine? How can I tell whether or not the compliment was meant for me or for someone else? These kinds of questions can cause a person to not be receptive towards receiving and giving compliments. There are also people who do not like to express compliments and feelings with words. The person may not be comfortable expressing emotions. The person could've had a bad experience when giving or receiving a compliment in the past.
If you are not comfortable giving or receiving compliments, then there is good news for you. It is not too late to like giving and receiving them. It may not be easy, but it can become contagious. Here are my suggestions for developing positive feelings about compliments:
1)Tell yourself that you are worthy of receiving compliments. If you don't think you are, then you may be hesitant to give and receive them;
2) After you do this, figure out the easiest way for you to express yourself. If you have a difficult time telling someone "thank you" for holding open a door, smile and nod. If it comes across as creepy or weird, don't worry about it. Someone will appreciate it;
3) Start opening your mouth. A simple "thank you" works wonders;
4) After a while, start adding in more words and make your compliments specific to the person.
Right now, the holiday season is in full effect. There are many people who will be rushed and unappreciative. This is the perfect time to practice complimenting other people. By the time the holiday season is finished, complimenting will become easier and it can become contagious.
When I discuss giving compliments, sometimes it can seem too simple. What if someone has an ulterior motive? Is the compliment genuine? How can I tell whether or not the compliment was meant for me or for someone else? These kinds of questions can cause a person to not be receptive towards receiving and giving compliments. There are also people who do not like to express compliments and feelings with words. The person may not be comfortable expressing emotions. The person could've had a bad experience when giving or receiving a compliment in the past.
If you are not comfortable giving or receiving compliments, then there is good news for you. It is not too late to like giving and receiving them. It may not be easy, but it can become contagious. Here are my suggestions for developing positive feelings about compliments:
1)Tell yourself that you are worthy of receiving compliments. If you don't think you are, then you may be hesitant to give and receive them;
2) After you do this, figure out the easiest way for you to express yourself. If you have a difficult time telling someone "thank you" for holding open a door, smile and nod. If it comes across as creepy or weird, don't worry about it. Someone will appreciate it;
3) Start opening your mouth. A simple "thank you" works wonders;
4) After a while, start adding in more words and make your compliments specific to the person.
Right now, the holiday season is in full effect. There are many people who will be rushed and unappreciative. This is the perfect time to practice complimenting other people. By the time the holiday season is finished, complimenting will become easier and it can become contagious.
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