How Heavy is Your Bag?

Imagine you are carrying a huge backpack. You are in the woods and you must climb up and down different hills in order to get out and must wear the backpack the entire time. The number of items in the backpack looks like they belong in the closet of a typical female teenager, but they are items you would carry. Hand sanitizer? Check! Tissues? Coming up! A brick? You've got that, too! Well, you may not carry a brick in the woods, but I think you get the point. Think about the backpack as you walk through the woods. How hard is it to walk? Is it slowing you down? Do your shoulders ache? Are you getting in an extra workout? In the middle of the walk, you see a sign that reads you can remove half of the items from your bag. You start walking again. All of a sudden, you walk faster, your shoulders don't ache as much, and you're not as exhausted. Then, you see another sign a mile later that reads you can take off the backpack and leave it behind the remainder of the time. Now, how do you feel? Did it feel like 20 pounds were lifted off of your shoulders?

In life, you have experienced your fair share of trials and unfortunate experiences. As you get older, your backpack gets heavier. Each time your backpack is loaded, it becomes more difficult to move. You wish you could just put it all behind you and leave the hurt and frustrations in the past. Guess what? You can! Yes, you actually can do this. In the scenario above, you had to wait till the signs appeared before you were allowed to remove items. Life isn't that obvious. There are no signs that read it's time to take the burden off of your shoulders. You can do it now. Also, the scenario only let you take half of the items out of the bag. You may take everything out or you can take one thing out. Whatever you choose to do is your choice.If you take the frustrations and baggage out of your backpack sooner, you will be able to achieve your goals and become the best version of yourself sooner than you think. 

Is It Time to Swallow Your Pride?

Do you like to ask for help? Really, do you? If you do, what benefits come from uttering a few simple words? After you ask, do you feel better about your situation? Okay, okay. It may not sound like you. You may be the type of person who would rather do everything for yourself and not rely on anyone for assistance of any kind, which is perfectly fine. We live in a country where we gain success by working hard and doing things on your own.

Throughout the years, I have been the type of person who was too proud to ask for help. Why should I ask for help? As a self-learner, I should figure everything out on my own. If I did ask for help, it seemed like I was wasting the person's time, which made me stop seeking help altogether. As I've gotten older, I have realized that asking for help isn't a blow to my pride; it's the responsible thing to do.

Recently, I switched my research focus. My original focus was exploring the social construction of beauty in virtual worlds and whether or not those constructions impacted socially constructed meanings of beauty in the real world. I was comfortable with this topic. I knew which types of articles would help me and which ones wouldn't. It was easy to cite key scholars and foundational pieces of literature. Now, I am interested in studying social media from a critical cultural perspective. I am interested in understanding how social media is used as a tool to oppress certain groups of people (i.e., class, gender, sexual orientation, etc.), how it's used to "dumb down" the everyday person, to what extent it's used as a public sphere, and how the culture industry develops and shapes social media usage. Since this is a new research area for me, I can't rely on myself anymore. I need to ask for help from scholars who know about the difference aspects of my interests. Without seeking their help, I cannot become the best scholar, researcher, and teacher I can be.

You, or someone you know, may be embarking on a new journey. It can be scary, but it will make you better. If pride is getting in the way of your success, repeat these words to yourself:

+ I am not losing my ability to be a self-learner; I am enhancing it;
+ Asking for help will not make me weak; it will make me stronger;
+ I am not taking the easy way out; I am working smarter than I've worked my entire life;
+ I am not swallowing my pride; I will be better for the experience; and
+ I am not a failure; I will succeed!

What Do You See?

Have you ever held yourself back from doing something amazing? If so, why did you? Are you afraid of success? Is it easier to find comfort in past experiences? When you hold yourself back, do you make excuses to justify your actions? I have held myself back from many things because it has been easier to resort to what I know rather than exploring new territory. Well, it has been until now.

Last Saturday, I stared at myself in the mirror. Literally, I just stared. I examined every inch of my body. I wasn't concerned with my hair, clothes, or other things that can enhance my appearance. I am talking about body size. I was disgusted with the way I looked. The disgust isn't rooted from the images in magazines, on the Internet, and on TV. I know that celebrities are photoshopped and they have professionals who make them look good. What I faced in the mirror was something deeper.

I saw a little girl who went through puberty before all of her classmates: breast development, acne galore, and serious weight gain. Shopping was a pain back then because the only pants I could wear, at age 12, were stretch jeans. Boys were disgusted with the way I looked and it crushed me. Many peers were not tolerable of overweight peers. One minute, my clothes were too tight and I looked like a stuffed sausage. The next minute, they were too big and I looked like a sack of potatoes. In high school, I slimmed down in some areas and developed in others. I still wasn't thin by any means, but I started to look more like a feminine female. I received a few looks, but not from the boys I liked. I had a few friends, but always felt like the third wheel. My body size held me back from pursuing opportunities I wanted to explore, made me bitter, and sad.

Many years later, I have made considerable changes to my wardrobe, hair style, makeup, etc. However, there was still one thing glaring at me: my weight. Up until now, I made many excuses for my weight: genetics, slow metabolism, and the list could go on. However, my excuses were getting me no where. It was time to shatter the little girl that existed in my mind and eliminate the excuses. I can only let past thoughts hold me back from achieving a better body for so long. I have decided to start making life-changing health choices. It was time to eat foods that were good for me and eliminate the ones that weren't. Exercise was no longer a choice; it was a requirement for a long and healthy life. I can't say my life style change will be easy, but I know that it will be worth it in the end.

Now, it's your turn to face something that will dramatically improve your life. What is holding you back from achieving greatness? How can you change your situation? What steps do you need to take to ensure success? If you fear you will lose your way, don't be afraid. Find a support group, seek advice online, and do what you can to stay on the path of success. I cannot promise it will be an easy journey. However, if you stick out the journey, then success will come.

Does the World Owe You?

Have you ever met people who thought everyone owed them something because they had a rough childhood? Do classmates who constantly try to finagle extra credit or extensions on project deadlines, due to the fact that they are irresponsible and make excuses, irritate you? Does it annoy you when people claim they deserve to live the good life and own nice possessions because they know what "hard work" is, but they have only worked hard a couple days in their lives? When I meet people who fit my descriptions, it irritates me.

Throughout my life, there have been times when I thought life was unfair: people have made mean comments about me, I was frustrated because I never had the right last name, and my family wasn't financially wealthy. It was disheartening to know that opportunities I wanted available to me weren't there. Based on the information I provided, do you know how easy it would be to become self-entitled? It would be easy to say people "owe me" because I have dealt with hardship. However, I would not describe myself in this manner. Why? For starters, there are others who have had hardship in their lives. I can honestly say there are people who have had it rougher than myself. When I think about what others go through, it would be selfish to be self-entitled.

No one owes me anything. If I want something, I have to work for it. Life isn't always fair. There will be times when I am at the right place at the wrong time, managing family commitments and graduate student life can be difficult at times, and there will be days when everything goes wrong. When life doesn't seem fair, instead of suggesting people owe me, I think about the facts that I have an amazing family, I am currently in the process of earning my third college degree, and my basic survival needs are met.

If you know of someone who thinks s/he is self-entitled because they have had it rough or are spoiled, kindly remind them that they're blessed. There are many things to be thankful for in life and their situation can always be worse than it currently is. If, for some reason, the person is at their breaking point, be a support system and tell them that life only gets better.

Take Five...or a Half

Are you caught up in the overwhelming nature of today's world? Have you forgotten what it's like to live life simply? Do you wish you could travel back in time and live in the moments you tried to rush? I love the life I currently live and wouldn't change it for the world. However, there are days when I get a moment to breathe and remember how simple life used to be.

When I was a kid, I worried about weekend plans, which shows I would watch, and how I would spend my birthday and Christmas money. What is rent? Why wouldn't my parents buy food at the grocery store more often? How come everyone else gets what they want but me? These questions seem juvenile now, but when you don't know any better, they seem like a big deal.

I don't miss having the ignorance of a kid, but sometimes I miss the simplicity of how life used to be. Two hour walks with my best friend, Friday evening hangouts at Starbucks, sleeping in on snowdays, spending all of my money on things I wanted instead of things I need to survive, and shopping for clothes on the tab of others was glorious!

As an adult, it's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of paying bills, going to work, taking care of your family, etc. Within the next week, I want you to do one thing for me: I want you to spend a half hour relaxing. Lay in bed and read a good book, watch a favorite TV show, drive your car somewhere without the intent of going anywhere, ride your bicycle, or anything that will relax you.

A half hour may not seem like enough time to relax or you may not think you have a half hour to spare. If time is an issue, look at how you spend your current time. Is a good portion of your day taken up by social media use? Do you watch more TV than you care to admit? If you really look at how you spend your day, I think you will be able to find a half hour to spare. When you take the time to enjoy something small and simple, it will revitalize you and it will help you to become better each day.