When's the last time you discussed a problem? How long did it take you to disclose how you felt during the problem? Was the problem resolved or is it in the back of your mind? Was 50 pounds of bricks lifted off of your shoulders if the problem was resolved?
When it comes to facing problems head-on, I will be the first to say that I don't always address them right away. Sometimes, they will sit in the back of my mind and fester. Sometimes, I work them out on my own and move on. Other times, they will remain stagnant until something triggers it and it becomes worse. Let me tell you that this is not healthy. It is not an ideal way to live a happy life.
In order to improve this area of my life, I've had to make necessary changes. The changes I've made are as follows: 1) I had to admit to myself that I had a problem; 2) I have to vocalize my thoughts and opinions; 3) I have to address situations as they arise. I cannot wait for 6 months to address a pertinent issue; 4) I have to allow myself to be uncomfortable. It's easier to walk away from problems than it is to confront them; and 5) I have to learn from the problem and grow.
The changes I've provided seem simpler to follow than it is. Each person has a different life experience, which means the challenges and obstacles each person must face will be different. However, if you allow yourself to become vulnerable and follow the changes that I use, you will notice an increase in confident. You will also notice that your ability to communicate in different situations will improve.
Becoming the better version of you will not always be easy. You may struggle and it may not happen overnight. If you allow yourself to push through the tough times, the good times will be even sweeter.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Where Were You a Year Ago?
When you look back on last year, what comes to your mind? When your memories surface, were you proud of them? If you were proud of them, then be proud to be proud. Don't hide behind them. Show yourself and let people know how happy you are. If you were not proud, then ask yourself why. Regardless of how last year went, last year did exist.
My last year was full of trials. However, the year was not complete without a year of triumphs. I experienced new feelings for the first time and repeated feelings from the previous year crept up on me. I won't share each trial and triumph, but I will tell you about an experience many can relate to. A year ago, I was a job seeker who had no luck getting past the computer. I went to numerous networking meetings and had no luck. Frustration was my favorite word because it was how I felt each day. It got to the point where people kept inquiring on my job status and questioned how a talented person couldn't catch a break; it was a slap in the face. I thought I was the "over-educated" person that wasn't "hire-worthy" due to my lack of experience in corporate America. Don't get me wrong, I had other professional positions, but they weren't the experiences employers wanted. One day, someone asked me to describe my ideal job. Once I described the job I wanted, the person who asked me the question replied "Why are you looking for job X when you know what you want to do?!" After the reality of the statement sunk in my brain, I rethought my job search strategy and am on the right track to the career I seek.
Through this experience, I learned that triumphs don't always stand alone. Sometimes, the trials make the triumphs. Put simply, when something bad happens and good comes as a result, it makes the victory that much sweeter. Had my path been handed to me on a gold platter, then the journey I experienced may have been significantly worse later on down the road. I share my job seeker story with you because I want you to know that everything will be okay long-term. Sometimes, it takes twists and turns to make the reality you desire.
My last year was full of trials. However, the year was not complete without a year of triumphs. I experienced new feelings for the first time and repeated feelings from the previous year crept up on me. I won't share each trial and triumph, but I will tell you about an experience many can relate to. A year ago, I was a job seeker who had no luck getting past the computer. I went to numerous networking meetings and had no luck. Frustration was my favorite word because it was how I felt each day. It got to the point where people kept inquiring on my job status and questioned how a talented person couldn't catch a break; it was a slap in the face. I thought I was the "over-educated" person that wasn't "hire-worthy" due to my lack of experience in corporate America. Don't get me wrong, I had other professional positions, but they weren't the experiences employers wanted. One day, someone asked me to describe my ideal job. Once I described the job I wanted, the person who asked me the question replied "Why are you looking for job X when you know what you want to do?!" After the reality of the statement sunk in my brain, I rethought my job search strategy and am on the right track to the career I seek.
Through this experience, I learned that triumphs don't always stand alone. Sometimes, the trials make the triumphs. Put simply, when something bad happens and good comes as a result, it makes the victory that much sweeter. Had my path been handed to me on a gold platter, then the journey I experienced may have been significantly worse later on down the road. I share my job seeker story with you because I want you to know that everything will be okay long-term. Sometimes, it takes twists and turns to make the reality you desire.
Thursday, January 16, 2014
One Year and Counting...
Have you ever set a goal and accomplished it? If so, how did it feel? Did you tell anyone about it? Were you surprised? My guess is that you felt happy. You set your mind to achieving a goal and did it. You are the master of your destiny. It was you who conquered your goal. Sure, you may have had some help along the way, but you were able to climb to the mountain top and yell for joy.
Today is my day to yell on the mountain top. This is my 52nd blog, which means I have blogged for a year. Woo hoo! I did it. It is a wonderful feeling to know that I consistently posted a new blog each week. Some days are busier than others. Sometimes, I have writer's block and have to dig deep for a new blog topic each week. For some reason, an idea emerged and I was able to write from the heart.How did I successfully post a new blog each week? The answer is simple: I wanted to do it. No one forced me to write my blog. I made the decision to begin blogging and have held myself accountable each week.
You may have wondered why I write each week. Six months before I started blogging, I tried writing a different blog. However, I came across an issue that many encounter, which is not having a blog theme. It's difficult to write about anything and everything each week. There's no target audience, no structure, and no focus. One day, I viewed previous posts I posted to a group of girls I counseled in 2012 and discovered my answer. The information I shared with them was applicable to just about anyone and I enjoyed helping them.
Today, I still enjoy posting blogs as much as I did the first time I posted one. Sometimes, it can be challenging to not repeat information. However, I let life events and stories influence what I write. If you've followed me each week, I thank you for taking the time to read what I write. If this is the first time you've read my blog, then I thank you for taking the time to read my post. Whether you're a first time or weekly reader, I appreciate your readership. I look forward to sharing more stories and advice with you.
Today is my day to yell on the mountain top. This is my 52nd blog, which means I have blogged for a year. Woo hoo! I did it. It is a wonderful feeling to know that I consistently posted a new blog each week. Some days are busier than others. Sometimes, I have writer's block and have to dig deep for a new blog topic each week. For some reason, an idea emerged and I was able to write from the heart.How did I successfully post a new blog each week? The answer is simple: I wanted to do it. No one forced me to write my blog. I made the decision to begin blogging and have held myself accountable each week.
You may have wondered why I write each week. Six months before I started blogging, I tried writing a different blog. However, I came across an issue that many encounter, which is not having a blog theme. It's difficult to write about anything and everything each week. There's no target audience, no structure, and no focus. One day, I viewed previous posts I posted to a group of girls I counseled in 2012 and discovered my answer. The information I shared with them was applicable to just about anyone and I enjoyed helping them.
Today, I still enjoy posting blogs as much as I did the first time I posted one. Sometimes, it can be challenging to not repeat information. However, I let life events and stories influence what I write. If you've followed me each week, I thank you for taking the time to read what I write. If this is the first time you've read my blog, then I thank you for taking the time to read my post. Whether you're a first time or weekly reader, I appreciate your readership. I look forward to sharing more stories and advice with you.
Thursday, January 9, 2014
How Did You Sleep Last Night?
When you wake up in the morning, do you feel refreshed, exhausted, or still groggy and tired? When I wake up in the morning, I am not a happy camper. Sometimes, I grumble, make sounds that don't sound pretty, and want to press the snooze button. It doesn't matter how I train my body. I will always be a night owl at heart. Even though I am cranky in the morning, I still wake up in a good mood. How can a night owl wake up in a good mood?
It sounds too good to be true, right? Wrong! I am one of the biggest skeptics I know and I am not skeptical of the nightly ritual I will share with you. The nightly ritual I do only requires 5 minutes of time and it challenges you to go back through your entire day and look at it from an optimistic point of view. You can do this activity by yourself or do it with a loved one.
Each night, right before you go to bed, ask yourself these questions:
What was the best part about your day?
What is on thing you were grateful or thankful for today?
What is one thing that made you smile today?
What is one thing that you were proud of doing today?
If you have a romantic partner, add these questions to the list:
What was your favorite thing about us, as a couple, today?
What was your favorite thing about your partner today?
If you do this nightly ritual each night before you go to bed, you will wake up feeling happier. Even though New Years Eve/Day is over, it's never too late to try something new.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
New Year, New Me!
"New year, new me!" "It's time to buckle down and do something about what I want to change." "I will go to the gym and lose 25 pounds." "I will no longer procrastinate." "I will give up pop and sweets." "I will stop attending every happy hour every day that ends in "day"." Have you ever muttered phrases like the ones I mentioned? It's easy to do.
Many people make new year resolutions. The ball drops, people make out at midnight, and the new year begins. It's inspiring. Last year is behind you and the new year is before your gleaming eyes. After the novelty wears off, you may or may not make new years resolutions. If you do make them, then answer this question honestly: Will you stick to your resolutions?
Many people make resolutions. I used to be one of those people. Overtime, I wondered why I kept making them, but they were never accomplished. Last night, I sat on my couch and thought about the concept of me making a resolution. The answer I had been seeking hit me: my resolutions haven't happen because I didn't want them to happen. Think about it, how can I possibly make a resolution happen if I doubt it? What's the point in committing to an idea if I cannot follow through on it? Why is it so difficult to follow through on a resolution when I can follow through on everything else I set my mind to?
I've determined 2 things about resolutions:
1) Why can't a resolution be made on May 25th, August 5th, or November 19th? A resolution can be made any day of the year. January 1st doesn't have to be the starting point. If you truly want to accomplish a resolution, then you will do it, regardless of the time of year.
2) If you choose to make a resolution, be specific in terms of what you want to accomplish. For example, if you want to lose weight, be more specific. "I want to lose 25 pounds." Break down this goal. "I want to lose 25 pounds in 3 months." Break down this goal. "I want to lose 25 pounds by April 1, 2014." The key is to develop specific goals that can be measured. Setting specific dates and milestones makes you accountable for what you want to achieve. If you want others to make you accountable, tell them about it. Have your friends and family become your support system. Post your journey via social media.
My hope is that you have the best year yet. Don't let external forces beyond your control determine your fate. You hold the key to becoming a confident, happy and self-sufficient human being.
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