The Power of the Pessimist

Every day is a new day. We open our eyes, get out of bed, and accomplish what we set out to do. Some days, we accomplish everything on the "to do" list. Other days, everything that could possibly go wrong actually goes wrong. When things go wrong, it can be difficult to find the ray of light in the midst of dark, gloomy clouds. Getting out of that funk can be as daunting as facing your biggest fear. Okay, okay. This may or may not sound like you. If it does sound like you, then you can relate to me. If it doesn't, then you may know of someone who is....hold your breath....a pessimist! Oh no! The dreaded P word has been spoken.

The power of pessimism can be powerful. Pessimists has an innate ability to make someone's happy go lucky day the worst day ever. If you want to feel bad about your life, just talk to the pessimist. Don't depend on a pessimist to cheer you up because it will be an act. When the pessimist is optimistic, s/he is in a happy mood. However, if you trigger something in a pessimist, then that happy mood will go away.

Don't you just love hearing about pessimistic qualities that we, as a society, are accustomed to hearing? Have you ever wondered if you can make a pessimist an optimist? A pessimist can, and probably does, have optimistic moments. However, the likelihood of turning a pessimist into a true optimist will never happen. I think grumpy kitty would give you a run for your money. 

At this point, you may be wondering what purpose(s) pessimists serve.  As I stated earlier, pessimism can be powerful. A pessimist has a tendency to be curious and investigative. These people typically don't take things at face value; be prepared to be questioned. If an idea sounds terrific, the pessimist will inform others about the consequences of actions, provide insight as to why a plan needs to be investigated further, and will caution others when necessary. If a plan falls through, the pessimist already planned for the worst; s/he is able to recover quicker than an optimist. The pessimist knows that life is much more than a fairy tale. Sure, they think of fairy tale concepts, but they typically don't rely on them.

What is the best part about being a pessimist? You have the power to pleasantly surprise them. If they are pleasantly surprised, then an inch of optimism will make its way into their lives (they like this). 

Know Thyself

What are your strengths? How do you make decisions? What motivates you? Do these questions sound familiar to you? If so, then you may know why I ask these questions. If not, then I will fill you in. At job interviews, on dates, and others occasions that require you to answer these questions, we, as a society, may spend ample time trying to figure out the answers. It should be the easiest question, but it seems like people struggle to find the words.

Why do people struggle? To be honest, I don't have a definitive answer. However, I do know one thing. Why do you think people value critical and analytical thinking skills?! Many people have a difficult time figuring out something when it's not obvious. It must be spelled out; the guess work must go away.

Think about it, if the words were written out, in front of people, to describe who they are, then it would make sense. Those words would somehow resonate meaning would be developed. How does this happen? Do you ask someone else to describe you? Perhaps, but you may not like what you hear. You may get the wrong answer and develop thoughts that aren't true to you.

Recently, I've clicked away to the path of self-discovery. I was tired of trying to figure out who I am and getting no where. After hours of clicking, I have seen assessment tools that tried to tell me who I am, but I still wasn't satisfied.What I needed were assessment tools to help me figure out my natural, innate strengths. This is not to be confused with perceived strengths that society dictates. When you know your strengths, you develop a deeper understanding of you, how you lead, and make decisions.

There are two assessments I highly recommend. The first one is an activity that comes out of Jay Niblick's book titled What's Your Genius? In this book, he will coach you on finding your natural talents. There's a series of activities that you will complete online. After completing these, you will use them to progress through the book. I think all activities are important, but the one I was most impressed with was number three. Once you complete it, you should receive the results in two weeks. http://workbook.whatsyourgenius.com/users/login Click on the link, create a free account, and you will have access to the activities.

The other assessment tool I recommend is this: http://freestrengthsfinder.workuno.com/1-free-strengthsfinder-test.html This assessment tool will assess you based on 34 different natural, innate strengths. After you complete it, the results will be available right away. the 34 strengths will be listed in your best order.

After completing these assessments, you may be wondering what the next step is. After you receive your results, take a good look at your entire life. Look at every job you've held, every leadership opportunity, family dynamics, etc. Based on your strengths, you will see a pattern. Once the pattern becomes obvious, you will be able to start focusing your entire life on your strengths and not rely on events that require you to use your weaknesses.

Honor Your Words

Does it annoy you when someone cannot keep his or her word? When you make plans, does someone cancel on you at the last minute, without proper justification? Do you become agitated when someone makes plans with you, doesn't acknowledge that plans have been made, and makes other ones? If you've experienced what I just mentioned, then you are not alone. 

You may be wondering why people behave this way. The answer is simple: we allow it. I understand that everyone is human; humans do make mistakes. However, think about it. Do you wait for the late person over and over again? More likely than not, you have at one time. If a group member commits to building the PowerPoint but "didn't have time to get to it," would you let the person get away with it? You may not have, but I speculate that others would accept this behavior.

Let's put an end to this problem today. It can go away with a few simple solutions:

1) Confront yourself. Ask yourself if you are notorious for not keeping your word. The first step to solving any problem is admitting you have a problem.

2) If you cannot commit to your words, ask yourself why this is the case. Did you grow up in a family culture that doesn't care about punctuality? Does it give you the control you crave in your life?

3) Implement time management into your life. I cannot speak for each person, but I speculate that those who implement successful time management techniques are usually on time. 

4) Stop tolerating those who are inconsistent. If someone is more than 20 minutes late and has no reason to be, then leave! It's harsh, but the person will know not to be late again. 

5) If you voluntarily surround yourself with people like this, you may need a new social circle. 

If you honor your words, people will trust you. You will become the person who is recognized for following through on assignments and requests. When you honor your words, you gain a sense of self, have a better understanding of how much you can handle in a day, and will gain the respect you deserve.

Is The Grass Really Greener on the Other Side?

How many times per day do you think people complain? If I had to speculate, I'd say the average person complains 20-30 times per day. Please don't hold me to this number. Some complain more and some complain less. My speculation may seem like a large range, but if you break it down, it makes sense. Have you complained about the number of hours you've worked recently? Was the cashier, at the grocery store, rude? Did a driver cut you off because you were driving too slow? Each complaint adds up fast.

If you hold in your feelings, those feelings bottle up; you become frustrated. If you say something too often, people become annoyed and don't want to listen to you anymore. It seems as if there is no correct balance for an acceptable number of complaints. It's really a catch 22.

In all honesty, I think it's normal to complain or vent. Think about it, who prefers to let injustices rule our world? The last time I checked, the answer to this is no one. Complaining isn't necessarily the problem. I think the problem is that people subtly forget to be grateful for what s/he has in life.

When it was 2 degrees outside, did you have heat in your home? Is your house made out of poo? Do you fear for your life each time you take a sip of water? Were you diagnosed with a rare form of cancer that has no cure? If you answered no to every question, then I think you're better off than you think.

As a society, we spend so much time wanting to be on the other side of the grass. What if the other side isn't greener? Would you go back to your current situation? The next time you complain about what's going on around you, ask yourself if your complaint will be relevant tomorrow. How about in a month? In a year? If it's not, then what's the problem?

The point I am making is to make the best with what you have currently. It may not be the ideal situation, but it's the situation that's currently in your lap. If you're unsatisfied to the point where you're no longer happy, then find a way to change it. Regardless of your situation, be grateful for what you have. It could always be worse.