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When you were growing up, were you taught to respect your elders? If you disobeyed your parents, would you have gotten into trouble? Were you allowed to disagree with your teachers in school? I remember my childhood as if it had happened yesterday. One aspect I remember vividly is how I always did what I was told to do. "Clean you room." "Yes, mom." "Read pages 31-43 for tomorrow." "I can do that." "Will you pick me up from work?" "I sure can."

Growing up, I was a people pleaser. I didn't want people to be mad at me nor did I want to invite conflict into my life. I was willing to sacrifice certain things I enjoyed to make other people happy. Put simply, I didn't know how to say "no."

As I've gotten older, I thought I was improving in this area. Recently, it was brought to my attention that I still said "yes" to too many questions. "Will you give a speech this day?" "Sure, that sounds fine." "Will you attend this event?" "Absolutely!" "Will you provide me extra guidance on this assignment?" "Of course." Why do I keep saying "yes"?! Do I keep saying "yes" because I am afraid to let others down? Is it because I don't want to invite conflict into my life? Do I have a desire to be liked by everyone? Did my childhood impact my current behavior?

To answer the questions above, the answer is "I don't know." The answers to every question could be "yes." The answers could also be "no." Regardless, I do know that there is a problem. The problem is that I keep saying "yes" when I should sometimes say "no."

I wasn't concerned with my inability to say "no" until a few weeks ago. Recently, my life has taken a different turn; I have to prioritize my life. I've been forced to put certain activities on the back burner and let other ones take precedence. I've communicated my recent changes to various people. Those who understand that one person cannot take on a storm have been compassionate and understanding. Others who only have their best interest at heart have not cared about me and how overwhelmed I've been lately.

Through my recent experiences, I've had to learn how to say "no." When I finally said "no" for the first time in my life, it felt amazing. 1,000 pounds had been lifted off of my shoulders. For the first time in my life, I stood up for myself. Was it hard? Absolutely. Do I regret it? Absolutely not!

If you're like me, then take my advice. All it takes is one time. When you say "no" the first time, it becomes easier to do afterwards. Saying "no" has inspired me to be a better person. My hope is that it can do the same for you, too.