Celebrate, Don't Tolerate

When you hang out with people, do you stay true to who you are or do you change yourself to fit in? If you stay true to who you are, then I applaud you! However, if you change yourself just to fit in, why do you do it? Does society say you're supposed to do certain things in order to fit in? Do you have a need to be liked so much that you're willing to be a different person? If you removed the mask and people saw who you really were, would they still like you?

For a long time, I just wanted to fit in. It was easier to mold myself to society's expectations than focus on my own happiness. Once upon a time ago, I, like many teenagers, wore brands like Abercrombie and Fitch and American Eagle Outfitters. Did I like the clothes? Sure, but the same types of clothes could have been purchased at other stores for less money. More likely than not, the clothes at other stores were made with the same "quality" materials, possibly better ones. Did I want to wear those name brands because I genuinely liked them or was it because I wanted to fit it? Looking back at my conforming self, I would say it was because I had a desire to fit it.

Let's fast forward to age 21. I legally could drink alcohol. Score! Now, I can go into bars, get drunk with my friends, and create lasting memories. At first, it was fun to let loose, get dolled up for an evening, and hang out with my friends. Guess what? It only lasted a couple of years. Why? I didn't like to drink! Why was I celebrating the fact that I could legally ruin my insides knowing I didn't want to? Oh yeah, it's because I wanted to fit in. Speaking of friends, I wanted, more than anything, to share my deepest secrets and be my true self around them. However, for fear of losing them, I decided it wasn't a good idea to disclose certain parts of my personality. Not surprisingly, I was tired of being someone I am not. I cut those "friends" out of my life. It was lonely at first, but it needed to be done.

The point I am trying to make is that you do not need to change who you are for anyone. If someone doesn't like your quirks, you do not need that person in your life. Being true to you and surrounding yourself with people who appreciate you for you is one of the best gifts you can give. If people can't see the value of who you are, then it is time to refocus your energy. Go where you are celebrated, not tolerated.