Have You Swept Under the Rug lately?

Do you want what you don't have? When you see pictures and posts of people living a happy and good life on social media, are you envious? Have you ever felt disappointed in yourself because you didn't achieve X by a certain age? Do you think you're a failure because the cards didn't align the way they were supposed to? If you said yes to any question I posed, then you're not alone.

Most days, it's easy for me to blow off the small things. However, I feel weakness every now and then; today is one of those days. Let's see, buy a home? I won't experience that anytime soon. I still have a few more years of school yet and have to work and achieve tenure before this thought realistically crosses my mind. Go on a vacation? Unless it's for an academic conference, forget this. Having a night out with friends? Hi, have you heard of graduate school? What are friends? Oh yes, they are journal articles, a computer, and textbooks. Gray hairs, why must you make me look like Rogue? Pay raise? What's that? Seeing people who are loved by everyone? As a person who follows the beat to my own drummer, I will never experience that feeling.

As you can see, what I am experiencing is not positive. If the nature of my blog is to help you become the better version of yourself, then why would I share my nasty thoughts with you? I am a human being. As a human being, I am not perfect. I am as flawed as the next person. However, if I am going to become the better version of myself, then I have to address the fact that I have these kinds of thoughts. It's easy to sweep them under the rug and pretend they don't exist, but that can open up pandora's box in the future.

If you are on your way to becoming a better person, acknowledge the flaws you have, the negative feelings you feel, and address the things that could hold you back. When you do this, you are giving yourself the courage to fight and conquer. By sharing my feelings of weakness with you, it is my hope that it gives you the strength to confront your own feelings of weakness and become better than you were yesterday.