Is "Can't" Your Crutch?

"I can't go to class today. I have a headache." "I want that jacket, but I can't afford it." "I can't complete this assignment because I don't have Internet access at home." Do you know of someone who's declared a similar statement? Have you verbal vomited one of the unmentionables? At one point or another, most people have.

I think people confuse the words can't and able. Can't is when you legitimately cannot do something; it's a handicap. Able means you're capable of doing something, but something could hinder you from achieving a task at hand; this is a disability. For example, Let's say someone is in a wheel chair. In order for this person to get around, things like elevators and wheel chair ramps must be available. If these things are available, the person can still get around. Even though s/he may or may not be able to walk, the resources are available to get around. If the resources are not there and no one will pick the person up, then the person cannot get around.

Keeping that perspective in mind, think back to the unmentionables I mentioned earlier. I hope you see how people use the word can't as a crutch. It's simply an excuse. If you really want to do something, and you had the resources available to make it happen, you would fly to the moon and back. Even if you don't have all the resources you need, you'd still find a way to make something work.

Let's refocus the word can't. Instead of saying you can't do something, say you choose not to do it. Which statement sounds better? A)"I can't afford to buy the iPhone." B)"I choose not to purchase the iPhone." I think statement B sounds better. Statement A implies that you physically do not have the money to buy the iPhone. This could be the case, but it can decrease your level of worth. Statement B implies that you choose how you spend your money. You're asserting will power and control in your life.

You may not always have options available to you. The number of resources you have may be slimmer to that of someone else. Heck, there may be the occasional day when you physically cannot do something. It's perfectly okay. Focus on what you are able to do and stop dwelling on what you can't do.