Have You Had a Heart-to-Heart Lately?

When is the last time you raised concerns about someone's behavior? What were they? Why do they concern you? How does the person's behavior make you feel? These are important questions to answer because it probably has happened to you at least once in your life. If it hasn't, then I foresee an instance happening in the future.

In my life, there are many people who have caused my eye brows to raise. In the past, I wasn't sure what to say or how to respond. Will I upset the person more? If I say something the wrong way, will it come back to bite me in my rear end? When is the right time to approach the person? How do I begin the conversation? These questions may not cross your mind. You may be the type of person to address a situation right away and the consequences don't cross your mind. As a person who does not want to rock the boat, I ask these questions every time.

In everyone's life, there comes a time when you will need to confront someone's behavior. Recently, I have had to confront someone close to me. This person is going through a tough time and his behavior has impacted me more than he thinks. He and I had a heart-to-heart regarding his behaviors, words, and actions. He was upset initially. Who wouldn't be when confrontation occurs? Throughout the conversation, he calmed down and was receptive to what I had to say. I am happy to report that he is making great strides to improve the behavior that concerned me.

If you are ever in a situation where you need to confront someone regarding their behavior, I want you to keep these things in mind:
-The person will probably be defensive initially. No one I know wants to hear that they are wrong;
-Expect an awkward moment or two. These conversations aren't always fluid. You might lose your train of thought or even the words you want to say;
-Be prepared to cite specific examples of the behavior that concerns you;
-Help the person develop a plan of action as to how s/he can improve. Nothing will happen unless a person knows how to move forward; and
-If the person disregards what you say, mocks you, thinks s/he is right and you are wrong, and is not receptive to what you have to say, you may need to take a different approach with caution. Seek the advice of someone else or try again later on in the day. If all else fails, you may need to enlist the help of someone else.