Life is like.....

...a box of chocolates, of course! Who doesn't love chocolate?! Well, I am sure there are people who don't like it. There are people who cannot have it. For this delectable blog, we will not be savoring in the ooey, gooey goodness of chocolate. I will be referring to the analogy that was made famous by Forrest Gump.

In the movie, he sat on the bench with his infamous comfortable shoes on his feet. He asked the woman next him if she'd like a chocolate. During that scene, he made a statement that sounds pretty close to this:" Life's like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." I've come across many analogies that describe life, but this one is my favorite.

I actually despise getting a box of chocolates if I cannot choose which favors I want. There's something disheartening about getting the gross piece. I become disappointed if I select a piece that has coconut or the disgusting, repulsing, aritificially flavored strawberry filling inside. After I choose a disgusting piece, someone else chooses the sticky, yet, creamy, caramel filled chocolate. How dare s/he! That was supposed to be my piece of chocolate.

One day, I thought about why I don't like receiving the gross pieces of chocolate. The easy answer is that I don't like eating foods that don't taste good. However, I think it goes deeper than this. Earlier, I mentioned that I prefer to choose my own flavors. I prefer stability and I don't like unwanted surprises. When I choose which chocolate goes into my chocolate box, I know that I will like each piece. I think this is tied to my hatred toward the unknown.

The unknown is scary and life has a way of throwing surprises when you least expect them to come. Is the box of chocolate supposed to be a metaphor of life? It is symbolic of something that is larger than myself? I don't know the answer to this, but I do know that I enjoy when I pick the piece of chocolate that speaks my love language. Some days, the love language will be spoken; other days will taste like articifially flavored strawberry. Regardless, life is, indeed, like a box of chocolates. You really don't know which piece you'll select next.

What's Your Reality?

Do you care about what others think of you? Most people I know would say they don't. If you think about it, most people do to a degree. I care about what other people think of me. When I enter a professional environment, I do not want to be the person who does not belong. When I hang out with a group of friends or acquaintances, I do not want to be the sad kitten who plays with the ball of yarn in the corner; the sad kitten in the corner implies that I am left out of the group.

For a long time, I cared deeply about what others thought about me. Sometimes, I would act or speak a certain way, solely for approval. If this seems bad, it gets deeper. Many times, I would behave a certain way because it was how I thought people perceived me. Instead of being who I was and staying to to form, I morphed into what I thought others wanted me to be.

As I've matured and have gained different perspectives, I realized that it is too much work to be who others want me to be. I was tired of giving into every desire and saying "yes" to just about everyone I knew. It's exhausting to do everything!

Since my revelation, I have focused on who I am. Instead of downplaying perceived weaknesses (e.g., pessimism, conspiracy theorist, etc.), I have recognized that these qualities are part of me. I don't want to change them nor do I plan to. Many people would say that my "negative" qualities make me a bad person. I say "Bah Humbug!" I wouldn't actually become Scrooge, but I would acknowledge that I am who I am and that's a-okay by me.

If you have a difficult time celebrating who you are, then refer to this quote:  "Never allow someone's opinion of you to become your reality." -Anonymous

I am Stronger Than Yesterday

You may or may nor recognize the title of the blog. If you can't put your finger as to where it came from, it is a lyric from Britney Spears' song "Stronger." Some are familiar with this song and others aren't. If you're not, then I will fill you in briefly. The song is about leaving a horrible relationship and finally feeling free. When I think about the song title, a different idea comes to my mind. I think about being strong in every facet of life, including leaving horrible relationships.

When I think about being strong, I compare myself to Bozo the Clown. I remember watching Bozo in a class one day. Kids kept pushing Bozo down, but Bozo always got back up. The kids couldn't understand why Bozo could pull himself up. Most people know that these kinds of toys have something inside of it that allows it to bounce back up.

If Bozo has something in him that allows him to bounce back up each time, then do people have something in them to bring them back up? If you look deep inside, there is something there. You may or may not see it. It is there, but it may be hidden. There's a possibility that the light hasn't been ignited. I think each person has something inside that brings him/her up each time a something goes wrong.

When you get knocked down, think about what motivates you to stand on your two feet. When you do, remember what motivates you when you feel like giving up. When you get up, you become stronger, wiser, and humble; you will be better for the experience.

Does the Outfit Fit?

When is the last time your tried on an outfit? Did the outfit fit just right or did something seem off? I've always been told to put clothes back on the rack if I don't like them on me. If I still decide to buy the clothes, they will grow dust in my closet.

When an outfit fits just right, it seems like everything is right within the world. The outfit hugs your body the way you think it should and it makes you feel confident. I don't know about you, but I know that I feel best when my outfit is tailored perfectly.

Think about the clothing you own. Do you have a go-to outfit you wear? Doesn't it make you feel great?! Each time you wear it, you feel confident! When you wear your favorite outfit, you don't second guess whether or not it is right for you; you just know it.

Picking out the outfit that is perfect for you is a lot like picking out the people you surround yourself with on a daily basis. People are a reflection of who you are. Some people are like the clothes we buy, but don't like. For example, let's say you hang out with a large group of people. In the group, you really only like 1 or 2 people. You would be thrilled if the other people went away. The 1 or 2 people you like are the tailored clothes that fit you perfectly. You know these people work well with your personality. You could do anything with these people and still have a great time. The majority of people are the ill-fitting clothes or the clothes that don't suit your personality. Some people are like the pair of pants that are a size too small; you think you'll fit into them one day. These people squeeze the life out of you. Other people may look like you (e.g., similar sense of style), but the "it" factor simply isn't there. If money weren't an issue, would you buy the item that is meant for you or buy the item that looks good, but doesn't look right on you?

If you surround yourself with ill-fitting people, you will never be fully satisfied. Surround yourself with people who work. You can't explain how or why, but it just does. The people who fit like a perfectly tailored outfit are the ones who will bring the most satisfaction and happiness to your life.

Do You See What I See?

When you look at yourself in the mirror, who do you see? How do you see yourself? Do you degrade yourself or pay attention to what you like best about you? I can't say this with 100% certainty, but I think it's safe to say that people use mirrors as a way to fix themselves. Some people need to fix their hair, some examine their outfits and fix it for the day, and others dissect their bodies and determine everything that needs to be fixed.

I know you look at yourself each day, but do you really know what you look like? Really, do you know? I used to know how I looked. I am notorious for looking in mirrors. How could I not identify what I look like? I spend ample time examining my own appearance.

Last week, I heard an impromptu speech about people looking at themselves. The person who spoke recently went on a trip overseas. In Tanzania, she took pictures of a few kids. At first, they were curious. Then, one kid walked over and looked at the picture on her camera. Before she knew it, 10 kids were surrounding her camera. They smiled, chucked, giggled, and laughed. For the first time, they saw what they looked like. It was a pure and precious moment.

Another example that comes to my mind is the Dove commercial I saw a while back. It was the commercial where the FBI gentleman drew the women based on the way they described themselves and then drew the woman based on someone else's description. The result was that other people think more positively about one's appearance than the person him or herself.

When you look at yourself, you may become your harshest critic. Stop being so hard on yourself. See yourself through someone else's eyes. It may be difficult at first, but if you look at yourself as if someone else is looking at you, then you may giggle and smile, just like the kids in Tanzania.

I Dreamed a Dream

Have you ever had a moment when you felt like you were having an outer body experience? It's as if something happened to you, but it almost doesn't seem real. Afterwards, you stop back to think about it and realize that it is real. Do your thoughts drive you crazy? Are you dizzy? I wouldn't be surprised if you were.

Some days, I feel like I have an outer body experience (figuratively speaking, of course). I often find myself wondering how I think of ideas and develop conceptualizations about the world around me. Recently, I thought about managing all of my priorities without having issues. It was an awesome experience. I had a plethora of energy, was consistently organized, and somehow had time to eat ice cream at the end of each day. Isn't interesting how dreams aren't always symbolic of reality? When I woke up, I was exhausted, lethargic, and was almost overwhelmed.

I've heard many times that dreams and outer body experiences are trying to communicate a message to me. Sometimes, I think it's horse rubbish. Then I think about what's currently happening in my life. I recently started working again while managing all of my extra curricular professional responsibilites and family obligations. In my dreams and outer body experience, it was the exact opposite of how I currently feel. Why did I think of the opposing feeling? Was my mind trying to communicate something else to me?

When I dreamed my dream, it was amazing. I felt like I was on top of the world. Right now, I am trying to manage the intricite details of my day-to-day life. I am not sure what my outer body experience was trying to communicate, but I could speculate what it may be. It may have told me that I need to take some time for myself and relax. What if my body told me that everything will be okay and I just need to readjust to my new schedule?

I will never fully understand what my outer body experience meant, but I do know that it was trying to communicate a message to me. Each time I listen to what my body says, I get the results I seek. What does an outer body experience have to do with becoming a confident, self-sufficient person? The answer is simple: everything! People who are confident have learned to trust themselves. They know to listen to their thoughts when they happen (aka gut instinct). When you trust in yourself, your dreams,and  outer body experiences, you will make decisions that will impact the rest of your life.

Be Better Than Average

When you look around, who do you see? When I say the word surrounding, I don't mean your current  surroundings. I am referring to the surroundings of your life. Who surrounds you? Do your surroundings consists of positive, uplifting people who encourage and support everything you do? Are the people in your life sad and want to bring you down to their level? Are you surrounded by people who thrive to live a life full of mediocrity? Who surrounds you?

Growing up, I wasn't surrounded by the best people I could be. I had a loving mother who would do anything she could for me. I couldn't ask for a better mom. With the exception of her and a couple family members, the majority of people in my life did not support me. This includes, but are not limited to teachers, counselors, mentors, family members, friends, peers, students, coworkers, bosses, and romantic dating partners.

Many people from my past tried to keep me from achieving the things I wanted to. These people thought the best way to live life was to settle for average. It was okay to perform at the level everyone else did. Being an over-achiever was looked down upon. When I consistently perform well, it has been seen as me being too competitive. Most people thought that I should lower my expectations. In my heart, I knew this was wrong. I've always been a go-getter. When you think about the people who love to accomplish a lot, that's me. When most of my friends and family members were B and C students, I was the A student. Have these people ever impacted the decisions I've made? Yes, they have. I am not proud of it. The times they did were not an accurate reflection of me, but I still chose to lower my standards.

Overtime, I've had to clean shop. I've learned to take mediocrity with a grain of salt. When I fall asleep at night, mediocrity is not on my mind. What's on my mind are what I accomplished for the day and the people I love. If you remember one thing, remember this: You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control how you act and react to them.