Distance Doesn't Define Dedication

Have you ever moved away from loved ones? If you have, did people give you a hard time about it? When distance forces you to decline a hang out, do the people in your life understand or become annoyed? Perhaps you did not move, but know of someone who moved far away. Was it easy to cope with the move or did you become resentful? Recently, my family and I unanimously decided to move a few hours away from our hometown. My husband and I decided if we wanted to create the best possible future for our family, we had to relocate. Along the way, we have experienced many challenges. One challenge is not being able to visit loved ones when we want to. Before we moved, it was simple to attend events. Now, we have to decline hangouts. It's not that we don't want to hang out with people; it's the farthest thought from the truth. The reality is that it is not possible most of the time.

My husband and I are both Ph.D. students. If you're not familiar with what this entails, it involves working from home 90-95% of the time. It's not the type of job where you dedicate X number of hours per week and then you're done. We are expected to know our discipline like the back of our heads. Then, we have our Graduate Assistantship responsibilities. Since we are good workers, we take pride knowing we perform at the highest level. Guess what? This requires us to work more hours. Let's not forget that we are required to submit research to conferences and journals, which requires us to work more hours. Now, this is where it becomes "glamorous." We work for little pay (for now). Have I mentioned the number of deadlines we must meet?!?

Now, I want to call your attention to why our situation prevents us from seeing hometown people. Our work schedule keeps us busy. If you were to put a camera inside of our home, you would become bored with our academic conversations. If we were to go back to our hometown to visit people, it would take time away from what we need to accomplish. Now, let's add in the fact that we have to be smart with our funds. Until we become professors, we will not make a lot of money. This means we have to carefully plan each trip we make up north.  I shared our story with you because I don't want you to feel alone. Those who can relate to the challenges of being far away are probably praising the love language I am writing. If you are dealing with a loved one not being present, then the following advice may help you to cope:

-Just because a person moved far away doesn't mean the person loves or cares about you less than they did before. It may be difficult to understand now, but the person is trying to create a better life for him or herself.
-Technology does exist. If you miss someone, send a text or social media message. The person you miss will respond back if they miss you, too.
-Put yourself in their situation. If you were to move away to better yourself, would you want people to support your decision or display jealous behaviors?