Do Motives Keep You Down?

Do you question the motives of others? If so, why? What triggers set off alarms in your head? Have you been screwed over one too many times? Did one major experience ruin something profound? Regardless of what the instance was, your reasons for questioning motives are yours; you are allowed to feel the way you do. If you're bitter, scared, or overly cautious, you probably have a good reason to be. Even if someone has their own story and the story is different from what you've seen in the past, you're probably going to be curious as to why the person is behaving a different way.

I, like many people I know, do question the motives of others. I want to see the good in others and in situations, but it can be difficult to do this. For example, I am a firm believer that people should earn everything based on hard work and merit. I can't stand it when they insist on kissing butt with the intent of not working as hard. If I see people kissing butt, I question credibility instantly. Why can't people earn an opportunity based on their own merit and where are the shortcomings? Does it motivate me to work that much harder? Absolutely! If I were to let one's shortcomings affect my performance, then I wouldn't be any better than the person kissing butt.

Yesterday, the snow kept falling down. My husband and I had to go to the grocery store to pick up a few things. Shoveling the road was not our idea of a good time. It wasn't just powdery snow. It was heavy snow that was compressed together by the snow plow truck. Plus, there was a layer of ice underneath the snow. In the midst of our shoveling adventure, a man kept walking back and forth with his own shovel. He never asked us for help. We guessed he wanted to shovel driveways for profit. People don't want to pay for that service in our neighborhood, but he walked past us at least 5 times. I questioned his motives in that situation. If he wasn't going to profit, why wouldn't he offer to help us? Couldn't he have helped us for the sake of helping others? At the same time, I felt bad because I was judging his motives without knowing his story. Was he unemployed or laid off? Did someone else in his family need the money? My instinct is to question his motives, but who am I to do this?

There will be many times when you question certain situations. If something has impacted you enough, then it is difficult not to do so. I wish I could say my thoughts were pure and innocent, but they are not. I wanted to share my story with you because becoming a better person doesn't happen over night. I do believe with time and patience, the way in which I question motives will improve. For now, I have come to terms with the fact that I am not blameless and that I can improve in this area.