Lesson from a Friend

If a new version of a product comes out, do you purchase it? Do you insist on having the best money can buy? Does the motto "More is Better" sound good to you? If so, you're not alone. We live in a society where
temptations are within reach: technology is ancient once it's purchased and many people try to keep up with the Jones'.

When I was growing up, I wanted to fit in. I insisted on wearing the best clothes, using the best products, and only hanging out at trendy places. How could I possibly go on living life if I wasn't doing and purchasing what everyone else had? As I've grown, I have learned that I do not need to do what everyone else is doing. I've thought about the events that have happened in my life that have shaped me into the person I am today.

One event that helped me to put life into perspective is a dear friend of mine. She recently told me about her trip to Africa. During our chat session, she mentioned that the people share one bucket of water for the day. The bucket is used to wash hands, drink out of, etc. When she shared this with me, 3 thoughts crossed my mind: 1) That's gross; 2) I can't believe people still live that way; and 3) Do I take my own life for granted?

Once our chat session was finished, I drove home, walked into the house, and looked at the faucet in the kitchen. I thought about the water I use to wash the dishes, take a shower, wash my hands, do the laundry, cook dinner, and drink. As I look at my water usage, I honestly couldn't tell you how much water I use per day. I am sure the people in Africa wish they could have the resources I take for granted.

As I think about this, it makes me appreciative of what I have. It is not necessary to own the latest technology each time a new version of something comes out on the market or buy what others may own. Is my view the popular choice? Absolutely, positively, no! However, I know when I look back on my life, I know it will be a fulfilling one.

Time is of the Essence

"Excuse me. Do you know what time it is?" How many times have you asked that question today? If you didn't ask it, then did you ask this question: "I get to go home in 2 hours. I can't wait for the work day to be over." No? How about this question: "I don't have enough time in the day to do everything! There's too much to do without time at my disposal." Am I asking the right questions?

I will be the first to admit that I ask the first question multiple times per day, I used to ask the second question, and occasionally mutter then third question. It seems normal to focus on time. The USA is a time driven culture. I must wake up on time, leave on time, arrive 10-15 minutes early to be on time, arriving at the start of a meeting means I am late, and arriving late simply isn't an option. Children are on time schedules, students attend and leave school at certain times each day, and people are given schedules at work that display what time they start their shifts and the time the shifts end. As you can see, it's not difficult to see why the questions I stated above are asked.

On Tuesday, I was talking with a person I've met a few times. He and I were discussing how valuable life is and to never lose sight of the things that matter most. I asked him what matters most. He gave me his answers, and most answers sounded standard. However, an answer he gave was one I did not expect to hear. The last word he said was time. Time? That's not a common answer people give. Here was his explanation: "If you wish time away, then you lose out on everything you could experience. Wishing time away means wishing away years of youth, freedom, and spending less time with loved ones. It means you have one less day to learn, one less day to seize the moment, and one less day to to help other people. Time is something I never wish away. Each day is a blessing and I am honored to be here today."

His words were pure and angelic. I spent less than 3 hours with this person and I got more than I bargained for that day. He taught me a valuable lesson. Life is too precious to take for granted. There are some days that are better than others, but each day deserves to exist. Each day makes me who I am and it teaches me something new. What better way to learn than experience life?! Before I leave, I want to leave you with a final thought: Regardless of how your day goes, find the blessings that happen each day. Each day presents new experiences. Without them, you cannot grow and go on to share your stories of trials and triumphs. When you experience life without watching the clock go by, you will gain a deeper understanding of what matters most and you will live in the moment, every day. 

Do You Have "I-Me Syndrome"?

When you listen to someone speak, does the person make the conversation about you? If so, for how long? If not, then ask yourself how it makes you feel. Honestly, have you ever had a conversation with someone who wanted to focus on him/herself the entire time? Anything you say will somehow revolve around the other person. If you have experienced this, then you are not alone.

Overtime, I have listened to many people who are infatuated with themselves, like to hear the sound of their own voices, or have a strong desire to create drama. Regardless of the reason, it still happens. I call this "I-Me Syndrome." I-Me Syndrome is defined as follows: an individual who communicates with another person and there is no intention of ever talking about the other person. This person is so concerned with him/herself that the other person doesn't exist.

If you are like me, and think these people are toxic, selfish, and mentally draining, then take a few moments to let the words I am about to say sink in. If you are not forced to be around these people, then don't out yourself in this situation. Those with I-Me Syndrome aren't changing anytime soon. You have the power to go away and never talk to these people again, as long as you're not forced (i.e., work and family).

If you are in a sticky bind and must communicate with this type of person, follow my advice:
1) Take the person's words with a grain of salt. There's a high probability that the person is insecure;
2) The person may not have anyone else to speak to;
3) The person may be going through a tough time right now;
4) If the person annoys you to the nth degree, you can walk away; and
5) If you are not forced to be around the person, then don't put yourself into the situation.

A Little Bit Goes a Long Way

Have you heard of the title of this blog? If so, what comes to your mind? Is it Jessica Simpson's song? Eating what you adore? How about clipping coupons to save money? These things did come to my mind, but there is something that surpasses all of them. Can you guess what it is? It's patience.

I've been told by many people a little patience goes a long way. In a society where people are taught to give into instant gratification, patience is the last thing on one's mind. Think about it: fast food, making online purchases (no checkout lines), drive thru's, ATM's, fast speed Internet access, etc. Heck, restaurants now have curbside pick-up food.

I, like many, enjoy the convenience of instant gratification. When I have a busy day, what I want is available. Why should I bother cooking if someone else will do it for me? What's the point of waiting 4 days for clothes alterations when I can get them done the same day? It's so easy to get caught up in this world. What happens when instant gratification works against me? It makes me an impatient person. Being impatient can mean being ungrateful, dissatisfied, and assumptive. It's not a good place to be in nor does it make me happy.

When these days happen, I think back on the times when patience paid off. The nights I choose to make dinner turn out better than a meal I'd overpay for at a restaurant. Not bugging the selection committee allowed me to be selected into my Ph.D. program of choice. Developing a friendship with my boyfriend for a couple years allowed me to get to know him for who he really is. Now, I am in the best relationship I've ever been in.

Patience is something I continue to learn. Some days are easier than others. When days get tough, I remember what I have in my life. Specifically, I remember the good things I have because of demonstrated patience. After all of these years, those who preached the patience gospel were right; a little bit of patience does go a long way.

Who Likes Pies?

When you see the word pies, what comes to your mind? Is it the most tempting slice of pie that is made at the best bakery in your local town? Does math come to your mind? If you cannot recall what I mean, does 3.14 ring a bell? How about whoopie pies and other manufactured snack goods? Heck, I could go for an ice cream pie right about now.

Each time I see the word pies, I think of something different from many people. I can't take the credit for how I think of PIES. I learned about PIES from my involvement in Toastmasters International. I think of PIES as a way to evaluate myself. Before I learned about PIES, I used to be overly critical and would only focus on areas of improvement. If you're like me and are hard on yourself, then you know being your own worst critic can be your enemy. However, I have learned, through PIES, that there is a different way to approach evaluating myself. 

What is PIES? PIES stands for positives, improvements, encouragement, and summary. Essentially, it is the Oreo cookie method. Here's how it works:

(P)ositives: This is when you start with praise. Most people I've met in my life want to hear good things about themslves. Plus, if you will be critiquing yourself, you want to be kind to you. 

(I)mprovements: I like to call improvements "points of growth." This is how a person can become better. If you are evaluating yourself, don't criticize yourself, feel bad about it, and then go about your day. Recognize where you can improve and develop a plan of action as to how you can become better. Without a plan of action, it is difficult to become a better person. 

(E)ncouragement: After you have provided yourself with points of growth, make yourself feel better again and lift yourself up. 

(S)ummary: Wrap up your personal evaluation. End your personal evaluation on a positive note. 

Part of becoming the best version of yourself is having the ability to look at yourself critically. No one is perfect. Mistakes are inevitable. After the mistakes happen, will you take the opportunity to mend the wrong doings? If so, PIES can provide you a safe, yet challenging platform to foster growth and good will. If you can be honest with yourself, then you are already on the path to becoming a happy, confident, and self-sufficient person.

Be Your Own Judge

Have you ever muttered the following comment: "Life would be so much better if....."? Would life really be better? If you had every material belonging you desire, would your life be better? If you accomplished everything on your "to-do" list, would you be happy? If life is going good, do you wish life were better?

In the past, I was envious of those who were able to travel to different locations. Each time I heard about someone's vacation, it irritated me. Why couldn't I be the person who travels?! Sure, I had been to a few places and vacationed in the past, but it didn't seem like it was good enough. Why did it seem like everyone traveled but me?

This past week, I travelled to Las Vegas. In the past, Vegas has been describe to me as bright lights, nude girls, party, get drunk, gamble your money away, hotels and casinos, and lack of sleep. Now that I have returned from Las Vegas and have caught up on my sleep, the way Vegas was described to me was accuate. I would like to add the following to the list: people don't know how to walk in a straight line (even when they're sober), no manners, expensive, and everything seems closer than what it really is.

Okay, okay. What I described above is not exactly positive. Las Vegas does have its perks. I like how each hotel has a theme. I was fond of Caesar's Palace and Paris. The architecture was gorgeous and it felt like I was in a different world. It was neat to see escalators outside. The weather was perfect. Where else can I go and see a 4 story M&M store, a roller coaster inside of a hotel, people who get paid to drive moving billboards, see people from all over the world, and get paid to complete audience research for a pilot of a TV show?

Overall, I had a great time in Las Vegas. I recommend experiening Las Vegas once in your life. However, I learned that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I know that this isn't the life for me. I like to live a simple life with those I love. There's something to be said for cooking a meal at home, sitting comfortably in my favorite spot on the couch, and sleeping in my own bed. If I had to pick a life lesson to share with you this week, it would be this: Until you get the chance to experience what someone else does, take each comment with a grain of salt.

Stop Stopping!

"Stop procrastinating and start doing your work on time." "Stop eating processed food and eat all natural foods." "Stop going out to eat and cook meals at home." How many times can you recall, within a week, being told to stop doing/saying something? It can be from a person you physically see in-person, online, etc. I'd say many people are told to stop doing/saying something at least once a week. Before you continue to read this blog, visit this link: http://www.lifebuzz.com/just-stop/

Stop, stop stop! How many times can someone be told to stop?! I understand there are good intentions and others want to prevent you from getting hurt and make the same mistakes they've made in the past. However, how many of those people have told you to start doing something? My guess is that it happens less often.

Earlier, I posted a link to the post 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself. Why do we have to stop doing anything? When I see the word stop, I think of lack of progress. How can I become better if I am not given the green light to go?

Instead, I want to focus on things you should start doing to yourself. There are many, but I've selected my favorites:

1) Start spending time with the right people. The right people will give you guidance, honest feedback, a positive support system, and make you want to become a better person.

2) Start confronting your problems. Facing what you don't want to will teach you a life lesson and it will improve your confidence. It may not make facing future problems easier, but you will know how to do it.

3) Start being yourself. If people don't like you, then it's not the end of the world. You will attract people who like your genuine, authetic self.

4) Start looking to yourself for happiness. If you cannot make yourself happy, then how will anyone else be able to?

5) Start looking to yourself for success. There will be someone else who's faster, stronger, wiser, smarter, etc. than you. Comparing your suceesses to theirs will not make you happier. Focus on your personal progress and be happy with how far you've come. Then, figure out how you can become better the next time.

6) Start to raise your own standards. How many times has someone tried to being you down to his or her level? Instead of lowering your self-worth to please the masses, fight the good fight and be picky You have high expectations of yourself.

7) Start being grateful for everything-big and small. Life is full of hidden surprises, gems, and treasurers. Othertimes, they are rolled out on a red carpet. Regardless of size, each event, thing, person, etc. that's brought into your life has a purpose for being there. If you take the time to enjoy everything, then life will become better and you will become happier.