Follow the Leader or Lead the Followers?

Why are leaders sought after in every organization? How many times have you been asked about your ability to lead? Do people look down on you if you don't have leadership qualities? I can't tell you how many times the concept of leadership has been shoved down my throat. Over the past few years, I've attended my fair share of leadership seminars, taken college courses pertaining to leadership, and have spouted the leadership gospel in interviews. I've also had the opportunity to demonstrate my leadership skills in networking groups, volunteer organizations, and at work.

I value the art of being an effective leader. I firmly believe that every organization needs someone effective to lead the masses to success. However, I've recently began questioning the concept of the follower. Why are followers not valued like leaders? Is it because they aren't responsible for making important decisions? Are followers perceived to be lazy because they have less responsibility? Is it safe to be a follower? I don't doubt that these questions could be answered with "yes."

Through my experiences, I have developed a different perception of what it means to be a follower. I know some can abuse this position, but I also don't view followers as feeble-minded people that blindly go through life drug around in a wagon. In all actuality, the position of the follower is a great one. For starters, there are more followers than leaders. If there was no one to lead, then what's the point of having a leader? As an educator, I see life as a giant classroom; we never stop learning. Being a follower gives followers the opportunity to leverage themselves and learn from great leaders. Learning from them decreases the odds of making rookie mistakes. Followers can help leaders become better. Just because the follower position yields less responsibility doesn't mean they have no input.

We can't control every situation we're put in. There will be times when the leader must take command and be the bad guy. On the flip side, there are also times when leaders must learn from their followers. The title of follower doesn't mean a person is less than human. It means they contribute in a different way. If both work together and truly understand each other's roles, then they will grow and become better for the experience. If you become frustrated and forget everything I've written, then remember this: "It takes two to tango." -Anonymous

Thank Your Past

Do you remember what 10 years ago looked like? What do those memories look like? Are you proud of them? How have those memories impacted who you are today? In another 10 years, how will you perceive those memories? I remember 10 years ago as if it were yesterday. Once in a while, I will wake up and wonder how 10 years flashed before my eyes.

The number 10 popped up in my mind because of recent self-reflection. A decade ago, I was in my senior year of high school. When I think about my senior year, many thoughts appear in my mind as clear as water. I remember scrambling down the tight hallways, at school, rushing to make it to class on time. Sometimes, teachers actually taught the students. When they didn't, most students would talk to each other. I, however, kept to myself. I had a couple friends. Those friends had other friends; I did not. Many days, I felt alone. I didn't belong to a clique. Parties on weekends and phone calls after school did not exist. Dating was not part of my vocabulary. Instead of attending football and basketball games with classmates, I swiped my plastic card to clock in at work. Each shift, I would wear my over-sized smock with a tee shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes. I was a great employee who exceeded expectations consistently. During each work break, I studied for quizzes and exams. I think I always had a text book or a set of vocabulary flash cards with me. I was a loner.

Why am I reflecting on the past? I will tell you why. My past made me who I am today. Did I sound lame? Perhaps, I did. However, there are benefits to being the unpopular pick. As a loner, I didn't have to worry about fitting into a clique. Fitting into a clique would mean conforming just to fit in. Since I was not part of a clique, I know who I am and am proud of myself. Typically, when people conform to fit into a group, they may try things they don't want to. I was never pressured to drink, smoke, or use illegal substances. I still choose to live a life without involving these substances. Many would say I dedicated too much time to my studies. Guess what? I love school! In fact, I love learning so much that I decided to dedicate my life to school.

Each past experience has shaped who I am today. I thank my past because it has enriched my life. I am not fond of the majority of memories, but I am fond of what the future holds. Each day, I get to live the life I want to, not the life others want me to live. If I meet others who want to share life experiences with me along the way, then that's fine. If not, that's fine, too. Regardless, I will continue to be the wise loner.

Which One Do You Choose?

When is the last time you picked up the phoned and called someone, simply because you enjoy their conversation? How did the conversation go? What did you two discuss? I ask these questions because a traditional phone conversation has almost become obsolete. Text messenger, e-mail, Facebook, and other messaging tools have taken over. These services are convenient, quick, and easy to use. It is amazing to know that a message will await me when I log onto my social media sites or open my phone, but there's something missing.

Each time I communicate with people online or on my mobile device, it seems like the human aspect of conversation is missing. Writing words can communicate a message effectively, but hearing someone's voice takes the communicative experience to a different level. Each time I communicate with someone over the telephone. I engage my senses. Hearing a loved one's voice means more to me than reading words on a screen.

Growing up, my mom and I were very close. Some would say we are best friends. Naturally, I grew up and moved out. When I moved out, I missed my mom a lot. Luckily, I did not live too far away. If I missed her, I could drive a half an hour and it felt like I never left. Recently, I relocated to a different part of Ohio. Now, I live a lot farther than I used to. If I want to see her, I have to strategically plan the trip. It is the first time she is not within driving distance. Each day, I miss her more than the previous day.

I know I cannot see her when I want, but I can still keep in contact with her. I make it a priority to call her once a week. It is easy to talk to her for hours, but it seems like we only have minutes. One minute, we start talking. The next minute, it has been two hours. Talking to her, on the phone, has helped me to cope with the transition. I would rather have a quality conversation with her over the telephone than receive a text message.

Next time you find yourself missing someone, pick up the phone and make a phone call. It could make someone's day, rekindle a past relationship, or build a foundation for a future one. Each time you talk to someone could be the last time. Cherish the relationships you have with people. Media are trendy and convenient, but don't become lost in it. Instead, recognize why it exists and what it's intended to accomplish. Then, think about the intention of a phone call. If you only had one more opportunity to communicate with someone, and you could not do it face-to-face, which form of communication would you choose?

Have You Had a Heart-to-Heart Lately?

When is the last time you raised concerns about someone's behavior? What were they? Why do they concern you? How does the person's behavior make you feel? These are important questions to answer because it probably has happened to you at least once in your life. If it hasn't, then I foresee an instance happening in the future.

In my life, there are many people who have caused my eye brows to raise. In the past, I wasn't sure what to say or how to respond. Will I upset the person more? If I say something the wrong way, will it come back to bite me in my rear end? When is the right time to approach the person? How do I begin the conversation? These questions may not cross your mind. You may be the type of person to address a situation right away and the consequences don't cross your mind. As a person who does not want to rock the boat, I ask these questions every time.

In everyone's life, there comes a time when you will need to confront someone's behavior. Recently, I have had to confront someone close to me. This person is going through a tough time and his behavior has impacted me more than he thinks. He and I had a heart-to-heart regarding his behaviors, words, and actions. He was upset initially. Who wouldn't be when confrontation occurs? Throughout the conversation, he calmed down and was receptive to what I had to say. I am happy to report that he is making great strides to improve the behavior that concerned me.

If you are ever in a situation where you need to confront someone regarding their behavior, I want you to keep these things in mind:
-The person will probably be defensive initially. No one I know wants to hear that they are wrong;
-Expect an awkward moment or two. These conversations aren't always fluid. You might lose your train of thought or even the words you want to say;
-Be prepared to cite specific examples of the behavior that concerns you;
-Help the person develop a plan of action as to how s/he can improve. Nothing will happen unless a person knows how to move forward; and
-If the person disregards what you say, mocks you, thinks s/he is right and you are wrong, and is not receptive to what you have to say, you may need to take a different approach with caution. Seek the advice of someone else or try again later on in the day. If all else fails, you may need to enlist the help of someone else.

Truth and Dare?!?

Have you ever played the game Truth or Dare? Which choice was your go-to? What was it like to play? Did it actually end well? If you're like me, then you chose truth each time. The people I played with weren't kind. I would've rather spilled my deepest secrets than participate in any dare they had up their sleeves. Perhaps you were the person who always chose dare. There was no dare that was scary to you. In fact, you actively participated in the craziest dares that existed and wanted others to do the same. You were my worst nightmare, but I secretly admired your courage. Come to think about it, I actually despised playing this game.

I've thought long and hard about my opinion toward Truth or Dare. Here's the answer I've developed: I didn't like doing or saying things that would harm myself or anyone else. The people I played the game were were sometimes mean-spirited, maybe even heartless. It didn't take up too much memory space in my mind, but I've played it enough times to develop an opinion.

Today, I thought about this timeless game. As you know, games can be altered to the people who are playing them. I've decided that I want to alter the timeless game and want to play Truth and Dare with you. Here's how my version is played:

Each day, I want you to answer this question truthfully: Are you happy? If you're not, then I dare you to become happy. I don't care what it is that makes you happy. Just do it. Then, I want you to ask yourself this question truthfully: Have you made someone else happy today? If not, then I dare you to put a smile on someone's face and make their day.

If we all played my version of Truth and Dare, then we can make the world a better place, one smile at a time. You don't know what a smile can do for someone. It could be the tool that makes his/her day better, save the person from committing a cruel act, or encourage someone to help another person. If you're honest with yourself and play each day, then you will reap the benefits more than you can imagine.

I Just Want to Say...

When's the last time you told someone something you've wanted to say? Have you had a crush on someone for many years, but have been too shy to say something? Do you wish you could end a friendship with someone, but don't want to lose the comfort of being upset? Has the thought of receiving a raise appealed to you, but you kept quiet because it could mean losing your job or being demoted? If you're like many people I know, then you may not have spoken up for quite sometime.

Trust me when I say it's easy to be scared. For most of my life, the unknown has been scary. I am the type of person who likes to plan my entire life and sticking to it. I realize I cannot plan every aspect of my life, which is why the word "plan" is tentative. As I become wiser, facing scary things becomes riskier each day; there's more to lose. It makes me want to stick to my plan more each day.

Overtime, I have learned that the biggest rewards come by facing the scary. Sometimes, the scariest thing can be to speak up. Typically, I keep to myself. I don't want to stir the pot into something disgusting. However, over the past few years, I have chosen to speak up in certain situations. They didn't always go as planned, but I've become stronger. I've dumped a few "good" friends who became poison, stood up for myself during job-related miscommunications, and reached out to someone to keep in touch on a regular basis.

Whether the words on your mind are positive or negative, it is important that you communicate them. It will lift a lot of weight off of your shoulders and you will never live your life wondering what would or could have happened. Many people live their lives scared. If you do, then you may never get the chance to tell someone how you feel or what you think. Put yourself out there. What's the worst that could happen?

Choose Your Words Wisely

When you write a new post, what do you write? Before and after you've finished, do you wonder how many people actually read what's written? I have found that people typically fall into a few categories:

-Herpes-Glitter poster: Remember, glitter is herpes of the arts and crafts world; it never goes away. This type of poster never leaves your feed.
-Blue moon poster: A person who rarely posts anything original. Until the person actually says something, you forget about him/her.
-Diarrhea poster: A person who only posts things with the goal of putting a damper on someone's day.
-Verbal vomit poster: This person posts TMI every time!
-Socialite poster: Think of this person as the networking guru. S/he always knows what's going on. Think of the person who's involved with summer camp or greek life.
-Harvard poster: Anytime this person posts, s/he intends to brag about how great his or her life is. This person brags about having a maid, insists on showing off material possessions, or must share details about the upcoming European vacation.
-Car wreck poster: Any time this person posts something, you can't help but look. Even though you say you will never read another post from the person, somehow you give in (i.e., the annoying classmate or drama king/queen co-worker).
-President poster: If a political issue emerges, this person will ALWAYS have an opinion. You may love it or hate it, but the person will insist on posting a status, blog, or other form of literature for all to read.
-Broken record poster: You will see the same types of posts from this person (i.e., the gym maniac, parenting-related posts, work related posts, etc.).
-Miscellaneous poster: This person doesn't have a rhyme or reason for posting anything. The most random posts or eclectic group of posts will appear.

Regardless of the type of poster you are, people do read what you write. For a while, I questioned if more than 1 person actually read my blog. Today, I found out that people read it, even when I have no idea. Earlier in the day, my phone decided it would send a random text message to every person in my contacts list. One person asked if it was intended or not. After the communication I had regarding the quirk, she informed me that she loves my blog. Let's just say I was beyond excited! The lesson I learned is that whether the message I send is positive or negative, the words will still be seen. If I could share a piece of advice to anyone in the world, it would be  to choose your words wisely. They will leave a lasting effect. Make sure the lasting effect is a positive one.